No homework please!

Quotable quotes:

Sex education to school children may be okay, but no homework to them please!

Bill cosby


by srini

Modern Panchathanthra Story

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after
one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********

Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you may be a fool than to open your mouth and remove
all doubt.

srini

Programmer's parody

# Local variable
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon,pal do pal meri kahani haipal do pal meri hasti hai..

# Global variable
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoonhar ik pal meri kahani haihar ik pal meri hasti hai

# Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagazkora hi reh gaya.

# Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahijaan bhi jati nahin.

# Goto
Ajeeb dastan hai yehKahan shuru kahan khatamYe manzilen hain kaun siNa woh samajh sake
na hum

# Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna heinmujhe bhi kuchh kehna heinPehle tum, pehle tum.

# The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jayeJab koi mushkil pad jayeTum dena saath mera hamnawaz.

# From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyanYeh khula asmaanAa gaye hum kahan.

# Untrackable bug
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.

# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua

srini

A cool appraisal letter!

Dear Manager (HR),


Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader



A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) continuously for my true assessment of him."





Signed - Project Leader




srini