Swiping one's idea is theft (intellectual property);
Grabbing from two sources is embracement of concept;
Deriving from too many - is honourably called research!
srini
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
No homework please!
Quotable quotes:
Sex education to school children may be okay, but no homework to them please!
Bill cosby
by srini
Sex education to school children may be okay, but no homework to them please!
Bill cosby
by srini
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Modern Panchathanthra Story
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after
one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
********
Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you may be a fool than to open your mouth and remove
all doubt.
srini
Friday, July 6, 2007
Programmer's parody
# Local variable
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon,pal do pal meri kahani haipal do pal meri hasti hai..
# Global variable
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoonhar ik pal meri kahani haihar ik pal meri hasti hai
# Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagazkora hi reh gaya.
# Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahijaan bhi jati nahin.
# Goto
Ajeeb dastan hai yehKahan shuru kahan khatamYe manzilen hain kaun siNa woh samajh sake
na hum
# Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna heinmujhe bhi kuchh kehna heinPehle tum, pehle tum.
# The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jayeJab koi mushkil pad jayeTum dena saath mera hamnawaz.
# From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyanYeh khula asmaanAa gaye hum kahan.
# Untrackable bug
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.
# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua
srini
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon,pal do pal meri kahani haipal do pal meri hasti hai..
# Global variable
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoonhar ik pal meri kahani haihar ik pal meri hasti hai
# Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagazkora hi reh gaya.
# Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahijaan bhi jati nahin.
# Goto
Ajeeb dastan hai yehKahan shuru kahan khatamYe manzilen hain kaun siNa woh samajh sake
na hum
# Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna heinmujhe bhi kuchh kehna heinPehle tum, pehle tum.
# The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jayeJab koi mushkil pad jayeTum dena saath mera hamnawaz.
# From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyanYeh khula asmaanAa gaye hum kahan.
# Untrackable bug
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.
# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua
srini
A cool appraisal letter!
Dear Manager (HR),
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) continuously for my true assessment of him."
Signed - Project Leader
srini
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) continuously for my true assessment of him."
Signed - Project Leader
srini
Friday, June 1, 2007
worldcup 2007 exit of India - the flip side
NEW DELHI : There's a brighter side to India 's exit
from the World Cup. Something that can cheer up our
disappointed fans and angry advertisers. Sri Lanka has
done a great favour to Indian economy by ousting the
cricket team from the World Cup.
from the World Cup. Something that can cheer up our
disappointed fans and angry advertisers. Sri Lanka has
done a great favour to Indian economy by ousting the
cricket team from the World Cup.
There are about 80 million cable and satellite viewing
homes in India .
According to TAM ratings, the average viewership of
all World Cup matches held till now stands at about
3%, with India vs Bangladesh touching a high of 7.25%.
To reach the finals, India would have played at least
seven more matches.
Considering a TV Rating of 7.25%, at least 5.8 million
people would
have watched the match. This would have resulted in a
productivity loss of
371.2 million man hours (5.8 million x 8 hours x 8
matches), apart from stress faced by mothers during
exams.
About 3% of 81 million TV viewers (2.4 million) were
ardent cricket fans and would have sat through all
eight hours in the remaining 28 matches. Thus overall,
Indian team's ouster would result in a productivity
gain of 481 million man hours of work (28x2.4x8 man
hours), if put to use.
The Sri Lankans have given a boost to the Indian
economy by saving 54,902 man years of work (one year =
8,761 hours). Indians can build seven phases of the
Golden Quadrilateral connecting Delhi , Mumbai,
Kolkata and Chennai spread over 5,846 kilometres all
over again, with this time saved.
A daily wage skilled labourer in Delhi earns Rs 17 per
hour. If put to productive use, the 481 million man
hours can produce Rs 817 crore of GDP, which is 63%
more than BCCI's annual revenues of Rs 500 crore, last
year. It's 401% more than the Rs 163 crore losses,
corporate India has predicted to incur due India 's
ouster.
The state electricity boards are also thanking Sri
Lanka for the great favour. A TV consumes 45 watts per
hour. Assuming a viewer will now switch off his TV by
12 midnight, it will save Rs 135 watts at least per
viewer.
srini
____________________________________________________________________________________
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Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center.
http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/
Thursday, May 24, 2007
How close can you get?
My house is at just a stone throw's distance from that of my neighbour.
How do I know?
He just threw one recently, breaking my window pane. Real instance, I swear.
srini
How do I know?
He just threw one recently, breaking my window pane. Real instance, I swear.
srini
Friday, May 11, 2007
Watch the spaces!
Believe it or not - when I was working through another blog of mine, I saw an advertisement referring to a website exclusivetherapist.com; Just see what happens if a couple of breaks creep in - exclusive the rapist.com!
srini
srini
Friday, April 13, 2007
Naming Games
The news of an Indian train having been named Kurkure express must have already raised eyebrows. Now what if
the esteemed newspaper New Indian Express jumps into the fray and sponsors a train. We can have New Indian Express from Delhi to Chennai!
I also suggest two stations 'Ashok pillar' and say 'Maurya Post' so that the Patriot (express) could run from 'pillar' to 'post' as is the tradition in modern India!
Also imagine a news item 'Wheel express' runs without wheels thanks to magnetic levitation.
srini
the esteemed newspaper New Indian Express jumps into the fray and sponsors a train. We can have New Indian Express from Delhi to Chennai!
I also suggest two stations 'Ashok pillar' and say 'Maurya Post' so that the Patriot (express) could run from 'pillar' to 'post' as is the tradition in modern India!
Also imagine a news item 'Wheel express' runs without wheels thanks to magnetic levitation.
srini
Thursday, April 12, 2007
SWOT analysis
Strength: My wife
Weakness: Neighbour's wife
Opportunity: When my neighbour is out of town
Threat: When I'm out!
srini
Weakness: Neighbour's wife
Opportunity: When my neighbour is out of town
Threat: When I'm out!
srini
Monday, April 2, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Move over Napoleon
Found near an executive's office desk!
WHO SAID NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE? I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS!
The italisation and colouring of 'IT' are my contributions to those who may fail to see the joke.
srini
WHO SAID NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE? I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS!
The italisation and colouring of 'IT' are my contributions to those who may fail to see the joke.
srini
Laugh and let laugh
Gentlemen, (gentle) ladies and gentle neithers (you too have the right to laugh),
I welcome you all to visit (and keep visiting) my Laughter Land blog, so that I can laugh my way to the bank, courtesy google adsense. Just like rain water harvesting, I plan to collect quality laughing stock(!) (through beg, borrow or steal?) so as to stockpile it, make the stocks soar bullishly (not bull....), build a database of jokes so that you guests could get ample servings and take home for reuse and recycling it. The school kids needing some source for any project work can draw heavily and freely from it. It is intended to keep within limits of decency and the readers too may please remember the same while adding comments.
So, homosapiens of the world, hey why not the animals if they can, get
READY, STEADY & LAUGH!
srini
I welcome you all to visit (and keep visiting) my Laughter Land blog, so that I can laugh my way to the bank, courtesy google adsense. Just like rain water harvesting, I plan to collect quality laughing stock(!) (through beg, borrow or steal?) so as to stockpile it, make the stocks soar bullishly (not bull....), build a database of jokes so that you guests could get ample servings and take home for reuse and recycling it. The school kids needing some source for any project work can draw heavily and freely from it. It is intended to keep within limits of decency and the readers too may please remember the same while adding comments.
So, homosapiens of the world, hey why not the animals if they can, get
READY, STEADY & LAUGH!
srini
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